Couples Therapy in Pasadena, CA
Move from adversaries to co-authors of a new story. In-person and online sessions available.
Something feels off
Maybe this sounds like your relationship...
The same damn argument over and over again—different day, same dead end.
Your partner feels more like a roommate than a lover.
One of you wants to talk about everything, the other wants to avoid conflict at all costs.
You cheated, or your partner did. And you’re both trying—but it’s messy, painful, and uncertain.
Since the baby came, the relationship feels off—and you’re not sure how to find your way back to each other.
This is where “us” starts to feel more possible again.
Couples therapy isn’t just for relationships in crisis. It’s for…
The just-beginning and the just-holding-on
Those navigating kids, sex that's stopped working, or rebuilding broken trust.
Partners seeking premarital counseling who want a strong foundation, and the ones who simply want more depth, more ease, and more joy.
The ones ready to stop bracing for impact and start building something better.
The quiet hope inside that things could feel different.
How I Can Help
When we begin, I want to understand what it’s like to be you in this relationship, and what it’s like to be with each other when things spiral.
We’ll slow down and get curious: what’s happening under the shutdown, the argument, and the silence.
I draw from a range of approaches—including the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT), somatic work, mindfulness, and nervous system awareness—to help us explore how your histories, habits, and ways of responding to stress shape the dynamic between you.
We won’t rehash every disagreement or decide who’s “right”—it’s more about creating a space where you both feel safe enough to show up honestly and start building something sturdier. We’ll also go looking for the fun again. We'll find ways to revitalize the connection with the real stuff: shared jokes, soft moments, and the spark of being on the same team.
Hi, I’m John
My own path to this work wasn't a straight line. Therapy, both as a client and clinician, has been a profound part of my journey. My own work over the past 15 years has shaped me in ways I could never have imagined. It's helped me show up more vulnerable in my relationships and in the world. I know firsthand how healing it can be to feel seen and supported over time, to have someone walk with you through the messiness, the breakthroughs, and everything in between. That experience is what led me here to become a therapist and to offer others the kind of presence and partnership that helped change my life.
I provide marriage counseling in Pasadena, CA to help you face the uncertainty with a deep human connection.
Of course, healthy relationships take work—but they also need design.
If you want to build a secure relationship rooted in mutuality, fairness, and trust, that doesn't just happen; it takes intention, design, and clear agreements about how you handle stress, resolve conflict, and the curveballs life throws your way. Couples therapy in Pasadena gives you the space to co-create something sturdy together, a relationship that feels less like a battlefield and more like a life raft. When the waves hit, you'll know how to weather them as a team.
Naturally, we move through the world with a lens of "self." Under stress, we often default to what protects "me": shutting down, defending, avoiding, and over-explaining. These behaviors make sense; they're familiar and often automatic.
But a deeper, more secure connection happens when we start shifting those pro-self reactions into pro-relational choices when it's not just about how do I stay safe? But how do we stay connected, even here? What can I do here to protect the safety and security of this relationship?
That's the work we do together, not changing who you are, but learning how to show up for the relationship without losing yourself in it.
What is Pact?
PACT stands for Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy.
At its core, PACT helps you build a secure-functioning relationship—one rooted in fairness, mutuality, and true partnership. Through attachment work, nervous system co-regulation, and co-creating a relationship structure you can actually rely on, we explore how your earliest relationships shaped the way you connect, protect, and respond today. Those old patterns don't just disappear; they show up in conflict, in how you seek safety, and in the way you read your partner's cues. Together, we learn to create something sturdier and more intentional.
This means that, in our work together, we won't just talk about what's going wrong; we'll watch it play out in real time: how your body responds, how quickly you shut down or go on the defensive. PACT helps us tune into subtle cues, slow things down, and start reshaping how we relate, so our relationship feels more fulfilling, connected, and secure.
Therapy doesn’t hand you answers—it helps you rewrite the script.
How do I win this fight?
How do we stay connected while we disagree?
I’m not sure how to fix this.
We don’t need to fix everything, we need to understand what’s happening.
I need to protect myself.
I can be safe and still let them in.
Everything feels so fragile.
We’re building something sturdier together.
I don’t even recognize us anymore.
We’re finding our way back—maybe even to something better.
I’m tired of being the only one trying.
We’re both learning new ways to show up—for ourselves and each other.
Conflict, when handled well, doesn’t break a relationship; it builds confidence in it.
FAQs
Common Questions
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Nope. I'm not here to play referee or declare one of you the problem. A relationship is co-created. You both have a hand in it. As your couples therapist in Pasadena, my role is to help you both slow down, tune in, and start to understand what's happening between you—not who's winning or losing.
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No. That's not my job. I'll help you both explore what's working, what's not, and each of your willingness to grow or change things. I'll sit with you in discomfort and help you embrace your vulnerability. Ultimately, my goal is to support you in figuring out what you want and need together or separately.
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Of course. Sex is a big part of many relationships, and it's often where disconnection or shame shows up. This is a space where we can talk openly, no judgment, no embarrassment, just real conversation about what's going on (or what's not). I welcome all forms of connection and expression, so whatever your experience is, you don't have to filter it here.
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Most couples notice a shift in less reactivity and more awareness within 8 to 12 sessions. Deeper work, like rebuilding trust, takes longer. Think of couples therapy in Pasadena as building a new skill together rather than a quick fix. Progress depends heavily on how present and honest you both are in the room.
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Marriage counseling and couples therapy aren't one-size-fits-all. My approach is active, engaged, and grounded in your real-time experience. We won't just sit and rehash the week; we'll get to the bottom of it. Using PACT, we focus on nervous system responses, attachment, and what's happening in the moment so we can actually shift things, not just talk about them.